Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Solitude

I think that being alone in this crazy world of ours is getting harder and harder. It has become almost stigmatic to be on our own. There are so many ways to be connected now with the million social networks and technologies that it is seldom that we are truly alone. But in a way, even though we are constantly connected, I feel we are becoming more lonely. How is that paradox possible? Even when I am home, alone, I am on Gmail chat, Skype, and my phone is near-by. I am texting, chatting, emailing and yet feel so lonely. Yesterday I browsed the book shelves by myself for an hour. It felt good. If only I left my phone in the car...I picked up a book of essays by Jonathan Franzen called How To Be Alone, ironic...I guess it has been on my mind.
But as I gradually graduate from living with 6 other girls, never being alone, to living solo, I am finding much time to myself. This has proven to be a double-edged sword as I love hanging with myself but at times my thoughts drive me insane. But I think it is really healthy to spend time with the self. Real quality time...no Gmail, no Skype, no phone, no pals, no TV....just you and your feet walking, tripping, skipping along. Because that is life; you are ultimately alone. Sometimes walking, sometimes tripping, sometimes skipping.

I have yet to delve into Franzen's essays but the blip "the erosion of civic life and private dignity, and the hidden persistence of loneliness in postmodern, imperial America" on the inner jacket really caught my attention and spoke to my recent loneliness. So, I will check back soon with an update. (I can't believe I haven't posted anything in a month...bad tej-tej)

We will see where my favorite author takes me on this trip to solitude.

 And since I promised a poem with every blog post, here is one that I stumbled upon which gently captures a lonely feeling...It is by Robert Creeley, written in 1969.

Again

One more day gone,
done, found in
the form of days.

It began, it
ended--was
forward, backward,

slow, fast, a
sun shone, clouds,
high in the air I was

for awhile with others,
then came down
on the ground again.

No moon. A room in
a hotel--to begin
again.